Just Say No to Branding the Tooth Fairy to Make Millions off our Kids



(Turns out The Real Tooth Fairies, LLC really didn’t want you to see their pitch to investors. Could they be ashamed? Six scantily clad censor fairies slipped a copyright claim under You Tube’s pillow and removed both the edited version and the original. Fortunately (but admittedly, not as much fun), there’s a transcript! Please click here to read it.)

Make sure you are sitting down. Really, this is the stuff you just can’t make up.

The Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood has uncovered a ploy by past and present toy-industry executives who are looking to brand the Tooth Fairy. “Can you believe,” begins a video aimed exclusively at potential investors, “that a childhood character known by millions worldwide has not yet been licensed?” To the alluring “ca-ching” of a cash register ringing up sales, a voice-over exclaims, “With a target audience of 10 million US girls ages 6 to 10 who lose 20 teeth, that translates to 200 million Tooth-Fairy moments. And biology guarantees that will never stop.”
What? Every child’s version of the tooth fairy is a creative original– plucked from magic and imagination!
Truly, it gets even worse: 
The Real Tooth Fairies’ website and its slew of licensed merchandise commercialize an inevitable biological milestone, the celebration of which has always been the purview of family rituals. The Real Tooth Fairies wants to “leverage and define this rite-of-passage moment” and literally profit from each tooth a child loses. Branding replaces children’s own creations with homogenized, corporate-constructed images, constricting both imagination and cultural diversity. Here are some lowlights of the Real Tooth Fairy experience:
  • A free-ranging child-driven vision of Tooth-Fairyness is reduced to just six sexualized options.
  • The target audience is girls as young as 5, but the Real Tooth Fairies are largely preoccupied with appearance, shopping, and boyfriends.
  • The “villain” in Real Fairyland, and the butt of its jokes, is a hairy-legged, roly-poly, buck-toothed, glasses-wearing fairy-wannabe.
  • Gender stereotyping also extends to boys. Their Tooth Fairy counterparts are a team of heavily-armed superheroes.
  • A Real Tooth Fairies Birthday Party Collection costs $379.
  • The Real Tooth Fairies doesn’t just want to sell everything to your kids; they want to sell your kids to the highest bidder. “Our intent in 2 to 3 years is that we project we’ll have over 30 million girls, unique users to the site,” said co-owner Howard Bollinger, former Senior Vice President of Hasbro toys, “At that point, the site will become a hugely valuable asset and a prime target for acquisition by scores of companies who want to connect with our girl demographic.”
The good news is that we can still save the Tooth Fairy. If we make enough noise, potential investors will think twice about associating themselves with this toxic brand. 

In our school, students create elaborate artwork about what they think the tooth fairy looks like to them. They are unique, beautiful, and distinctly branded character free. They need to stay that way!
We can do something about this. To save the free range, child centered and market free tooth fairy (never thought I’d have to write that!):
*source for content of this post, the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood
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